


True, Empty Words

by Diary



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 03, Angst, Bechdel Test Fail, Break Up, Canon Disabled Character, Episode AU: s03e10 Mhysa, F/M, Late Night Conversations, POV Female Character, POV Shae, Post-Season/Series 02 AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 01:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6684649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Shae takes the jewels Varys offers and leaves. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	True, Empty Words

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Game of Thrones.

When he comes in and sees her, he starts, “Shae, we’ve talked about this. You can’t-”

Kneeling down, she puts a hand on his face, and showing he shares many traits with the animal he calls himself, his expression makes it clear he’s sensed an unpleasant change. “Shae?”

Softly, she kisses him. “You’re not mine, anymore. If it helps, I’m still going to be yours for a long while. It’ll take time. When I stop, it will hurt. But I have to leave, now.”

The sound he makes drives her ever closer to letting tears well up and spill, but his voice is simply quiet when he asks, “Why?”

Inside a hidden pocket of her dress, she imagines she can almost feel the pouch containing the jewels Varys gave her.

In some ways, he and her lion (you just said he’s not, anymore, she chastises herself) are so much alike. Despite the anger inside, both want to be kind, but when they can’t be, they have little difficulty in being ruthlessly, efficiently cruel.

If she tries to stay, Varys will only go after her, and if she turns Tyrion against him, it’ll likely be her lion’s death warrant or worse she’s presenting for a signature.

Tyrion Lannister likely knows more words in her native tongue than she does, barely has to glance at numbers to know what they say and how to make them say something different, and can see people for what they are rather than who they want others to think they are. She’s never said the words due to not knowing how he might react, but she’s wondered before if his shortness is due to more resources of his body being devoted to his brain than anything else.

Where her lion is little in body, Varys has neither man nor woman parts between his legs, and he’s just as smart.

The difference is, whether it’s the lack of man parts or something else, he doesn’t crave love. He doesn’t even particularly crave respect or acknowledgement.

He’d win, she knows.

Perhaps, she’s in love, and perhaps, she just doesn’t want to lose the wonderful life she’s been enjoying, but she’s not afraid, angry, or even bitter. All Tyrion Lannister is going to see is a pragmatic woman making a sad choice and acknowledging but disregarding his heartbreak.

Even a real, tamed lion would just turn on the human who loved them, eventually, she tells herself.

She is nothing but human. She can’t remember ever pretending to be or comparing herself to any animal or supernatural creature. Even with her doubt of any gods existing, she’s always instinctively known no human should ever compare themselves or try to be one.

“Shae,” he prods.

“The time for excitement is over. I’ll miss it, sometimes. Regret might sneak up on me once or twice. But you stay here and outthink dangerous, horrible people. For the sake of what we had, try not to die or be broken, my lion. And I’m going to live in a beautiful house that is always warm, perhaps grow fat with always having my belly full, wear beautiful clothes and jewels even if I do, and yes, even knowing you won’t like hearing this, have exciting men in my bed that will leave once our fun is over. I am going to be safe, comfortable, and live a long life.”

“Of course,” he replies.

She sighs. “Don’t do that. Poor little man with his clever brain, kind heart, and ability to make women shudder and moan. I didn’t say I don’t love you. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop. It wasn’t the money that I’d receive afterwards that I was focused on while we were in bed. But-” She pauses. “I can’t change who I am any more than you can you. I am always going to look out for myself above anyone, and you are always going to look out for others above yourself.”

Wiping away his tears, he nods. “Perhaps, under different circumstances or in a different life-” He trails off.

“I don’t think about things in such ways,” she says.

He reaches up, wraps his hand around hers, and brings it to his lips. “I wish you all the best, Shae. When will you leave? I can get you-”

“I still have plenty of what you’ve already given me. I don’t need anything more from you.”

He flinches, and part of her realises there’s more than one way to interpret her words.

“Shae, let me give you something. Please.”

She can’t help but laugh.

He gives her a small smile.

Leaning forward, she whispers into his ear. In her native tongue, she tells him things she once swore she’d never tell anyone.

When she’s done, she leans back, and trying to ignore the beautiful, painful look on his face, she says, “You could tell me right now, and I’d treasure your words, but in time, I’d lose some of them. I leave tomorrow night. If you want to give me something, write me a letter in the language I learned first. Try not to use too big words. Tell me how much you loved me. Tell me how much you still do. Tell me all the good I brought into your life. Tell me why and how you’re going to miss me.”

He nods. “Done.”

Stroking his face, she asks, “Do you want to touch me one last time?”

At his hesitation, she starts trailing her hand down. “I’d like it, if you would. I don’t care how many you’ve taken to bed; I was only worried and jealous you might have wanted or found yourself wanting what you had with me with them. I don’t have any shame for all those who came before you, but out of all of them, I’d choose you again.”

Surging forward, he kisses her.

…

She reads his letter before she goes down to the harbour.

Inside the scrolls of parchment, she finds a ring and a necklace and decides to keep them when she reads why he included them.

They belonged to his mother, and he secretly dreamed of one day giving them to his bride.

She slips the ring through the chain, puts the necklace around her neck, and hides the jewel part under her top. After locking the letter into the box she’s had since she was a child, she leaves her chambers with the box under her arm, quietly slides the letter she wrote to Sansa under the girl’s door, and makes her way out of the castle.

Varys is waiting when she arrives.

Silently and with great tenderness, he drapes a warm cloak over her and fastens it. “Thank you for doing this.”

“You owe me more than the jewels,” she informs him. “When you use the heartbreak I caused-” She takes a breath. “I don’t claim to be a good person, but I’m not a bad one. He isn’t better off without me. He shouldn’t follow after me, and maybe, I’m better off without him, but he isn’t without me. I loved him. I wanted him for more than his money and name. And if I were a better person, I’d risk myself and try to save him, but just because I’m not- You owe me more than the jewels. This is one thing you don’t get to use to blacken and harden his heart with.”

The words are empty, unenforceable, and she’s never had any respect for those who use empty words, but in this one instance, she knows she has to say them, regardless.

His eyes are sad in the torchlight, and he nods. “I promise.”

His promise is more empty words, and they both know it.

“I doubt you’ll ever truly understand, my lady, but someday, you might hear things that will give you an idea of why this was necessary.”

The ship docks, and he offers his arm.

She considers walking ahead without him, but she’d rather not deal with anyone right now, and so, she takes it. He talks to the captain, and soon, she finds herself in a spacious room with a large bed, a fireplace, a table and two chairs, and a bowl overflowing with fruit on the table. There’s a closet, too, and opening it, she finds numerous gowns, shoes, and a case to pack them in when it’s time to leave. Finding a simple set of smallclothes, she changes into them, curls up on the bed, and takes her letter out.

On the last page, she reads the last words: _Your lion forever, Tyrion Lannister._       


End file.
